Title: Nightmares and other after effects – part 9
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia romance
Rating: PG-13 – just to be sure
Disclaimer: All BAU characters belong to CBS, the rest came out of my own freaky mind
Summary: Sequel to Twelve hours: Well, just read it and I’m pretty sure your urge to kill me for the recent three will at least lessen a little.
warnings: none this time
Please read and review!
Derek hesitated for a moment. He didn’t want to ask Hotch of all people but he’d already asked everyone else and no one had been able or willing to tell him where she was. After his talk to JJ he’d finally decided that he needed to talk to Penelope. He couldn’t simply let her go. He at least had to try to fix it. But he hadn’t been able to find her and it was already noon.
Finally Derek took a deep breath and knocked.
“Come in!” Hotch called without looking up from the file he was reading.
Slowly Derek opened the door and stepped into the office. “Um… I… Excuse me, Hotch. Do you… know where Penelope is? Seems she didn’t show up to work today.”
Hotch raised his head and an eyebrow in addition: “Nobody told you?”
“Told me what?” he asked in concern. Did she quit? Because of him? Or was she ill? Was it something serious? He was puzzled, concerned, scared, all at once.
“She had a qualm.” Hotch informed him.
“She had what?” Derek almost shouted at him. “Where is she? Is she alright? I mean, which hospital did they…”
“Derek, Relax.” Hotch interrupted him. “She collapsed this morning because she hadn’t slept for at least four days. I brought her to a hospital but they assured us she’s fine. They sent her home and I gave her two days off to recover.”
Derek sighed with relief although still a little shaking. “Hotch, I… I need…”
“Just go, it’s fine.” Hotch smiled. It seemed that finally they’d both decided to talk to each other. Maybe he should consider to earn a living as a relationship counselor or something. “Oh, and Derek.” he stopped the agent from leaving his office.
Derek frowned and turned to face his boss again. He’d probably tell him to be back in at least one hour.
Hotch’s smile had widened a little: “Take the next two days off as well. I figure you’ve some things to fix.”
He stared at him utterly perplexed. How could he know? Had Penelope told him? How long had he already known? And most of all what did he think about it? A thousand questions sprung to his mind.
“Just go and talk to her!” he commanded. “And don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. I’m fine as long as it doesn’t affect your work – and you already proved it doesn’t.”
He smiled obviously relieved. “Thanks, Hotch.” he nodded and once again headed for the door.
“Oh, just one last thing.” Hotch stopped him a second time.
Derek turned holding the handle in his hands and gave him an almost impatient look. He wanted to go and see Penelope, use the next two days as good as possible to show her that this could really work.
“Never do it in Garcia’s office again!” Hotch commanded giving Derek his usual deprecating stare.
Derek blushed deeply and was glad that due to the color of his skin Hotch couldn’t see very much of it. He gasped for air, then nodded terribly embarrassed and left the office.
Hotch couldn’t help but grin a little gleefully. He’d never put Derek Morgan on the spot like that before. Although he should have really been upset that Derek’s reaction had confirmed his assumption he also felt a little amused.
Penelope still felt incredibly tired. It had been no problem for her to stay awake for a hundred hours or so just dozing a little in between. But once her body had forced her to give in its need to lie down and rest it seemed she couldn’t get enough sleep. The problem was that her back was aching so much that she couldn’t lie anymore. So she’d decided to watch a movie and probably for the first time of her life simply do nothing.
She heard a hesitant knock on her door, stopped the movie, sighed and got up. It was certainly JJ wanting to see whether she was alright – again. Penelope desperately wished it to be someone else. She missed his warm embrace, his strong arms holding her at night. Sighing once more she opened the door and froze at the very moment.
Derek gave her a concerned look. Her face was pale and she looked exhausted. But at least he saw her and that immediately made him feel a little better. “Hey, baby girl.” he said in a very low voice. “I… I wanted to apologize. I’m so sorry that…”
She interrupted him by throwing herself into his arms. Derek gently made her step back inside so that he could shut the door and caught her in his arms. He hadn’t imagined that this would be that easy. But still he had to apologize. And still they needed to talk. But not now. This moment was for the warm and comforting embrace he’d missed for what seemed like ages. So they stood in her corridor holding each other tight for more than fifteen minutes.
“I missed you so much.” Penelope finally whispered.
Derek smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I missed you, too, honey.”
“I’m so sorry.” she said eventually letting go of him. “I… I never meant to split up with you. Well, yes I did, but it was the worst idea I ever had. I didn’t want to hurt you I… was just afraid that… that… I don’t know.”
“But I know what you mean, goddess.” he assured her. “I’m so sorry I refused to tell the others and I understand that this made you feel I didn’t want to… well, let our relationship become real by making it public.”
“So that means you… want me back?” she asked.
“Yes, I do.” he replied. “There’s nothing I want more. I love you and I never wanted to loose you. And I promise you this time it’ll work because I want it to.”
“Me too.” she whispered. “I love you so much, Derek. I… I’m so sorry that I thought this was just about sex and I’m sorry that I blamed you for not telling the others. I understand if you don’t want them to…”
“We will tell them.” he interrupted her smiling widely.
Penelope gave him a baffled look: “We will?”
“Yes, we will.” Derek nodded. “And I’m looking forward to it. I’m sorry I didn’t manage to tell them earlier. I… I don’t know it seemed impossible to find the right moment to tell them and even harder to find the right words. Somehow I was afraid that they… that Hotch wouldn’t approve it. But now I know that it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the team thinks about it. It doesn’t even matter what Hotch thinks about it – although I’m relieved that he’s okay with us. But all that really matters is that you are here with me. I want the team to know, I want the whole wide world to know about us and I don’t give a damn anymore what they think or say. I don’t want us to have to hide any longer.”
“Me neither.” Penelope agreed and her heart leapt at the thought of not having to hide their feelings any longer. “Why… were you afraid to tell the rest of the team?”
Derek took a deep breath and looked into her eyes: “I… You know that some people maybe won’t agree with… us being an item.”
Penelope raised her brows and gave him a baffled look: “What are you talking about?”
“Well” he cleared his throat. “I’m just saying people could maybe take umbrage at the fact that you are… white and I’m…”
“Hang on” Penelope interrupted him. “that was the problem? That was why you didn’t want to tell the others?” nervously she paced her living room. “And I thought the problem was that… you didn’t want to admit that you make it with the office geek.”
He barred her way and gently grabbed her arms: “Penelope, don’t tell me you thought I would be ashamed of you. And besides I don’t make it with you, I love you.”
She took a deep breath to calm down and whispered: “I know. But back to the fact that you’re worried about me being white. Do you think that would bother me?”
“No” he replied. “I mean, I know you don’t care about this but… not everyone is as sophisticated and tolerant as you are. Some people have fun blaming inter-racial couples, I’ve experienced that before. And… well, I can handle this but…”
“Stop that bloody nonsense!” she softly said. “Derek, I’ve been a geek my whole life long and I’ve been blamed and insulted for that so often. You think I can’t handle some brainless sayings? I could write a book on dealing with them!”
He couldn’t help but smile widely: “And yet you gave me another reason to love you.”
Penelope stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his chest. “Don’t think you’ll get rid of me that easy, handsome.” she whispered.
Then she raised her head again and asked in a low voice: “So how… um… when do you want to tell the others?”
“Right after we returned to work.” he answered. “And I have something very special in mind how to tell them.”
His grin made her become a little nervous. Then her thoughts chewed over what he said and she asked: “Hang on, after we returned to work?”
He nodded and explained: “Hotch gave me the next two days off as well. And I know exactly how to spend them.”
Her heartbeat sped up thinking about what the next days might be holding ready for her.
“So get your jacket and your purse, doll face!” he commanded.
“Where are we going?” she wanted to know.
“Just come and take pot luck!” he replied and hold his hand out to her. He led her to his car and told her to close her eyes and not to open them until they’d reached their aim.
Penelope couldn’t believe they were doing this. How could he ever kept in mind that she once told him about her and her brothers spending hours on the frozen lake near their house during the winter and how much fun this had been for her, how much she missed ice-skating? She giggled when Derek elegantly sashayed towards her and wrapped her in his arms.
“So, is that close to the fun you had with your brothers?” he smiled. “I know it’s not a lake and not even outside but…”
“It’s perfect, peaches.” she interrupted him and gave him a long soft kiss. “Even better than back then. Thank you.”
“That’s not all I planned for today, mama.” he grinned. “But let’s first enjoy this for a few more minutes.”
Hand in hand they pretty much floated across the sheet of artificial ice. It was so cold in that hall that one could almost think it really was the deepest winter.
“I didn’t know you like ice-skating.” Penelope smiled. “And I’d never thought you’d be that good at it.”
“I practiced a lot when I was younger.” he shrugged. “And you see we have more in common than we already know. There’s very much we still need to find out.”
“And I’m so looking forward to that.” she replied.
“But I fear we have to call it a day now.” he said and led her to the exit. “I have another plan for the evening.”
“I guess you won’t tell me now, will you?” she smirked.
“No way, baby girl.” he chuckled. “That’s another surprise.”
When Penelope opened her eyes she was completely stunned. They were standing on a private stage right above the
“A magician never reveals his secrets.” he chuckled. “Come on, beautiful, take a seat and have dinner with me!”
The dinner was almost more wonderful than the rest of that day had already been. Derek did everything to show her that their relationship could be so much more than just sharing the bed. Never had she been that happy before. As much as she’d suffered during the past weeks maybe all that had been necessary to make things as perfect as they were now.
Derek smiled at the woman next to him and refilled her glass with the red wine. This was pure heaven he thought and inwardly giggled a little. He’d always thought all that romantic nick-nack was not at all his scene. But this evening, the whole day had so proven that wrong. Why hadn’t he considered doing that before?!
It was almost full moon and the night was starry. Thanks to the fact that it was late summer the temperature was very pleasing. The moonlight was reflected from the slightly moving water and the pale light made Penelope’s hair look even more golden than usual and her eyes sparkled while she smiled at him. She looked incredibly beautiful. Derek reached out and gently stroked her cheek then brushed a strand behind her ear.
For a long time Penelope locked eyes with the man next to her and they simply smiled at one another. Then she slowly bend over to him. This moment was so perfect that she just felt she had to kiss him right now.
Derek’s hand slid behind her head to pull her closer allowing them to deepen the kiss. Although he’d planned not to do this tonight to keep Penelope from thinking their relationship was just sex he couldn’t cushion the need of his body and his soul after such a long time of abstinence. And besides she’d started this. So he figured it was okay to give into it. He gently tried to make her lie back on the blanket but she refused. Derek broke the kiss and gave her a querying look.
She smiled mischievously and threw him on his back leaning over him. “Let me take the lead this time!” she bend down and pushing his shirt up spread soft kisses all over his amazingly hard abs. She took her time removing his shirt. Then she kissed a path back down his stomach teasing his belly button and giggling when he growled helplessly.
Derek swallowed when he felt her hands undoing his jeans. As much as he wanted this he was a little concerned. Penelope had refused to take over control until now. She was surprisingly shy concerning sex. And moreover she’d assured him she’d never do it outdoors. He didn’t want her to do this as a reward. “Baby girl” he softly said. “you know that you don’t have to do this. I mean, if this is meant to be…”
“Could you please stop profiling me?!” she interrupted him and grimaced. “I’m not doing this because this was a wonderful day. It is my turn tonight, gorgeous.” and then she whispered in the most seductive voice. “And I assure you I’m going to enjoy it.”“Well, in this case, anything you want, my goddess.” he smiled.