Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Title: Nightmares and other after effects – part 6

Pairing: Morgan/Garcia romance

Rating: PG-13 – just to be sure

Disclaimer: All BAU characters belong to CBS, the rest came out of my own freaky mind

Summary: Sequel to Twelve hours: Don’t kill me for that chapter! Hold off on that till you read the next two.

warnings: none this time

Please read and review!

“So, when do you tell me about him?” JJ asked and conspiratorially brought her chair closer to her best friend.

Penelope frowned and without looking away from her computers asked: “Whom?”

JJ grinned: “Your new boyfriend.”

Penelope’s fingers stopped for a moment flying over the keyboard. Then she went on typing: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” JJ had already asked Penelope about her new ‘love interest’ as the younger agent kept calling him several times but Penelope had refused to answer her questions ever since. She started to wonder when the rest of the team would figure it out. It was not that they were really trying to hide it. Alright, they didn’t kiss in public but they kept flirting and leering at one another whenever they were in one room but no one seemed to notice. They’d even done it in her office – although Penelope had sworn herself not to let Derek make her do this – and on the plane when they’d been flying home from another case where Hotch needed her on the spot to crack the computer system of an unsub they’d shot when they’d tried to arrest him. It had taken her three days to find what Hotch was looking for: The addresses of the brothels that guy had sold illegal immigrants from Mexico and other countries to. She’d spent every night in Derek’s hotel room but again their co-workers had taken no notice of that. Penelope had started to think that they could as well do it right in front of their eyes and still none of them would consider Derek and her being an item.

“Come on, Pen!” JJ rolled her eyes. “For two months you are grinning from ear to ear and almost every time I step in here you are humming.”

“I’m not humming.” she objected.

“Yes, you are!” JJ made Penelope turn to her. “Come on, tell me about him! I want to know every tiny detail!”

Penelope broke away from the other blonde and turned back to her babies. “Honestly, there… there is not much to tell.” she felt a sudden sadness coming up inside her. How much did she want to tell JJ everything about her and Derek! But Derek kept saying he first wanted to tell Hotch. The point was he never did.

JJ gave the analyst in front of her a sad look. She’d thought they were best friends telling each other pretty much everything. She’d even talked to Penelope about her date with the little genius and how he seemed jealous at the case in New Orleans every time JJ had talked to detective LaMontagne. And now Penelope refused to tell her about her new love interest. “Why don’t you talk to me?” she finally asked. “You seemed so happy during the last weeks and I… I just thought you’d maybe want to share that with me.”

Again she stopped the movements of her fingers. After a few seconds she sighed and turned to JJ: “I’m sorry.” she whispered. “But it’s… it’s complicated.”

JJ frowned. For the past two months Penelope had seemed to be on cloud nine but suddenly JJ got the impression that something was wrong about this relationship – or maybe even about this guy. She’d much rather at least known who he was, met him at least once to be able to judge whether he was good for Penelope or not. “Complicated?” she repeated. “What does that mean?”

“I…” Penelope sighed again and looked down. “I don’t know. It’s just… I don’t know.”

“You should be careful.” JJ advised. “It’s not good for you if you bluster into this relationship like that. Especially not if he forbade you to talk about it.”

Penelope gave her an appalled look: “It’s not that he… He didn’t forbid me to… to tell somebody.”

“Then why don’t you talk to me?” she insisted and put both her hands on Penelope’s shoulders to keep her from turning away again.

Penelope winced a little when JJ’s hand slightly squeezed the wound on her shoulder.

Appalled JJ let go of Pen’s shoulders and stared at her in shock. “What’s that?” she wanted to know and pointed at her left shoulder.

“Nothing.” she assured and blushed slightly.

“Penelope, if he bashes you, you should…”

“No” she quickly interrupted her co-worker. “he’d never do that. Believe me, it’s nothing… at least it’s not what you think it is.”

“Then what is it?” JJ almost shouted at her. She’d seen that much too often when she’d talked to the wives of suspects. Most of them had been beaten by their husbands and every single one of them had denied it.

When Penelope didn’t answer JJ stepped closer and brushed Penelope’s jacket aside. She stared at the clearly visible bite mark on her shoulder in shock. Then they both blushed deeply and for a few moments none of them seemed to know what to say.

Finally Penelope broke the silence without looking at JJ: “He didn’t do it on purpose.” she said. “And it… well… it didn’t really hurt.”

JJ chew it over and then asked. “So you don’t want to tell anyone because it’s nothing serious.” she concluded. “It’s just about sex.”


“Hey, mama.” Derek smiled when she opened her door, rushed inside and locked her into his embrace gently nibbling at her neck. “You left without me today.”

“Stop that!” she broke away from him and turned so he faced her back.

That was not good. “What’s wrong, angel?” he softly asked.

“That’s all, isn’t it?” she whispered.

The sadness and disappointment in her voice were like a knife running into his heart. “What… are you talking about?” he asked not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

“Us” she shrugged her voice still so low he almost wasn’t able to hear what she said. “this is just… sex, isn’t it.”

“No” Derek objected and stepped closer to her. “no, honey, it’s not just sex. It’s so much more. I love you, Penelope.”

She turned to look at him and he could see the tears that had sprung to her eyes. “Then why… why do you still keep it a secret? Why don’t we tell the others?”

“We will.” he assured her taking another step in her direction reaching his hand out to touch her.

“When?” she asked in return and took a step back, away from him. “I… I know that this was my idea and at first it was… really exciting. But… I don’t want to have to hide away anymore. I… I want more.”

“I know.” he replied unable to keep the hurt from his voice, she spurned him.

She gave him the saddest smile he’d ever seen and his heart stopped beating for a moment. He’d never meant to hurt her like that.

“But you can’t give it to me.” she whispered. “I know that. I knew it beforehand but I… somehow hoped it would be different with me. It was presumptuous, I know that.”

“No, Penelope” although he desperately tried he wasn’t able to say these words loud. “please, don’t talk like that. I never meant to…”

“I don’t blame you, Derek.” she softly interrupted him. “As I said I knew that beforehand. You don’t have relationships just sex. It’s not that I… didn’t enjoy what we had… but… I can’t go on like that, playing hide and seek and not even being allowed to talk to JJ about… us. She’s my best friend and I would like to… simply talk to her, tell her how happy I am and how you… make me feel things I never felt before. But I can’t because you refuse to tell them and… I… I don’t know. Maybe this simply wasn’t a good idea.”

Derek gasped for air. He couldn’t believe that she’d just said these words. He’d been on cloud nine during the past two months and he’d thought she’d felt the same way. But obviously he’d been wrong. Why hadn’t she told him before?! Well, she had but he hadn’t really paid attention. Penelope had begged him to finally tell the others about them – but he’d rejected that. She was right, at first it had been really exciting but the longer they hid their relationship the harder it got to find the right words to tell their co-workers. Derek had wanted to wait for the best moment to talk to Hotch. He’d obviously waited too long. No, this couldn’t be happening. He wouldn’t let it happen. The first thing he’d do the next morning was telling the others. He didn’t want to loose Penelope, he simply couldn’t.

“Please, baby girl” he whispered. “don’t dump me! We will…”

“This doesn’t work.” she interrupted him. “As much as we both want it to work it… it simply doesn’t. We hardly have anything in common.”

“Of course, we have.” he objected. “What about our taste in music or…”

“Derek, please go now!” she whispered. “Don’t make it harder than necessary!”

“Don’t” he panted. “please, don’t split up with me!”

 “Just go!” she whispered and opened the door waiting for him to leave her flat.

Unwillingly he stepped outside and turned back at her to try to reason with her once more. But she shut the door in his face.

Her heart broke into a million pieces when she saw the hurt in his face. Maybe he did love her, maybe he did need her. But he didn’t love nor need her enough to make their relationship public. So he probably didn’t need her but just the nights they spent together. She felt the tears coming up and quickly shut the door to keep him from seeing that. Her legs gave way and she slid to the floor. It hurt so much to loose him but she knew it would have hurt even more to go on like that.

Derek could hear her sobs through the door. This sound almost lacerated his heart and he reached out to knock. But he was sure she wouldn’t open so he rejected that plan and went away. He didn’t drive home immediately. He stopped at a pub and emptied half a bottle of Whiskey. Maybe it was dangerous to drive home after that but he didn’t care anymore.

After he’d arrived Derek immediately dialed the familiar number. “Hey, mom.” he softly said and tried to smile to keep the sadness from his voice.

“Honey, what happened?” Fran asked in concern. She knew her son too well not to realize something was really wrong.

He sighed. “It’s… because of Penelope.” he paused for a long time and finally whispered. “We split up.”

“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry.” Fran only called her son pet names when she thought he really needed to be consoled. “What happened?”

“What I feared the most.” he replied in barely more than a whisper. “I spoiled it.”