Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to ITV1. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time. The idea of the story as well as the story itself – including all possible pre- or sequels published afterwards – are mine.
Summary: Written for just_kiss_her. The prompt was “Becker is infected or poisoned by something that makes him hallucinate. Jess stays with him in the med bay and tries to keep him calm, and in his delirium, Becker says some things that he would never normally admit out loud. This could work for angst or humour (or both!), especially if Becker doesn't remember what he said afterwards.” by deinonychus_1.
Warnings: not beta-readAuthor notes: Come on, Becker hallucinating while Jess watches over him? Seriously, how could I not fill this prompt?! ;)
Who would have thought there were creatures able to release a hallucinogen when they were threatened? Jess would never have guessed. But here she was, watching over him while he imagined things and people that weren’t there.
Dr. Miller had told them someone needed to stay with him in case his condition got worse. So far, he was only imagining things from his everyday life, creatures mostly. He’d been calling for his weapon, and it had been rather hard for Jess to calm him down.
Whenever he woke up, he mistook her for someone – or sometimes something – else. She was so used to him calling her something other than her name, that she wasn’t surprised that day when his voice woke her up from her snoozing.
“Lester?” his voice seemed to come from far away.
“No, it’s me, it’s Jess,” she said, even though she knew that it was pointless. No matter how hard she tried to break through to him, he never believed her. The hallucination was always stronger.
“Lester, we have to stop Philip,” he mumbled, trying to get up from his bed.
Jess hurried over to him to keep him from getting up and ripping his stitches – again. The creature had clawed him, and the doctors had to stitch the wound. “It’s okay, don’t worry. Matt and the others can handle it.”
“They need me,” Becker insisted.
“It’s okay, Becker, they can handle it.” Jess struggled to keep him from getting up. “You were hurt and you have to stay here. That’s an order!”
Much to her surprise, he obeyed to her order and lay back down on the bed. “What if they need me?” he whispered. “What if someone is hurt because I can’t be there?”
“They’re fine, Becker,” Jess assured him. “New Dawn is already destroyed. They’re heading back now.”
“Really?” he asked, looking at her suspiciously.
“Really,” Jess affirmed. “Matt called just before you woke up. They’re fine. I promise.”
“Good,” Becker said, sighing with relief.
Gently placing her hand on his forehead, Jess checked if his temperature had already gone down. Unfortunately, it hadn’t. He was still burning up.
“Lester?” he mumbled, already half asleep. The fever along with the medication made him feel drained and sleepy.
“Yes?” she asked softly.
He looked at her outfit. “Is that a proper kilt you’re wearing?”
Jess chuckled. “I’m sure there’re places where it is.”
His eyes fluttered shut, as he drifted off into sleep again. “You have beautiful legs,” he mumbled.
Sighing, Jess rinsed the flannel with cold water and wiped the sweat off his face. Rinsing it again, she placed the cold fabric onto his forehead, trying to get his temperature down. Then she walked back to the chair she’d been sleeping on for almost a week now.
“Jess?” She was so surprised to hear her own name, that she first thought she’d imagined it. Who knew, maybe the hallucinations were contagious.
“Jess?” she heard the voice call out again, louder this time. “Jess!”
“I’m here,” she replied, rushing back to the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Jess, we have to get out of here,” Becker whispered, once again trying to get up from the bed.
Grabbing both his arms, Jess gently made him lay down again. “We’re at the medical bay, and you have to stay here. You’ve been hurt by a creature.”
“No, we have to get out,” he insisted. “It’s not safe in here.”
“I promise, you’re as safe as you can be,” Jess assured him with a smile.
His eyes met hers and she could see mere panic in them. “Jess, we have to go. It’s not safe. You are not safe.”
She gave him a puzzled look. He was worried about her? “I am safe,” she tried again. “Nothing’s going to happen to me here.”
“It’s not safe,” he objected. “I lost so much already. Abby, Connor, Danny, Sarah… Jess, it’s not safe here. This place is dangerous.”
“Connor and Abby are fine,” Jess told him. “They came back through the anomaly. They’re safe. You don’t have to worry about them.”
But he didn’t seem to listen, or maybe he didn’t understand. He insisted on taking her some place else.
“Becker, you have to stay here at the medical bay,” she tried to reason with him. “You were hurt, and you need to…”
“So much blood,” he mumbled. “There was… so much blood. They mauled her. I couldn’t do anything. I had to watch and couldn’t do anything.”
“I know,” Jess whispered. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I can’t watch again,” he continued. “This place is dangerous, and I… I have to get you out of here. I can’t lose you, too.”
She blinked back the tears that wanted to form in her eyes. “You won’t lose me,” she whispered. “I promise you’re not going to get rid of me anytime soon.”
“You can’t stay here,” he repeated. “It’s dangerous. I can’t lose you.”
“It’s okay,” she tried to soothe him. “I’m not going anywhere. Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’ve got you to protect me, after all.”
“I can’t always be there,” he muttered, already drifting off to sleep again. “Please, Jess, get into safety. I don’t want to lose you, too.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered, her hand gently stroking his cheek in an attempt to calm him down.
He grabbed her hands, pulling her close to him, almost on top of him on the bed. “Please, Jess, don’t leave me,” he mumbled into her hair.
She wasn’t able to fight him back – not that she really intended to do so – so she just placed her head on his chest and snuggled up close against him. “I’m not leaving you,” she assured him once more.
“I love you, Jess,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.Jess sighed. He certainly wouldn’t remember any of this once the hallucinations were over. He wouldn’t remember anything he had said. But what did it matter now? “I love you, too,” she replied quietly. “Much more than you’ll ever know.”