Fandom: Criminal Minds
Prompt for 30_forbidden: #8 Never
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Part 2/? of the ‘Love and prejudice’ series. This time Penelope muses about her relationship with Kevin and her friendship with Derek.
AN: I know, I know, it’s been a long time again. But what can I say? Life just got in the way once again. About a week ago (last Wednesday, to be exact) one of my cats needed surgery. They had to remove one of her kidneys and she’s been in ‘hospital’ ever since. Today we’re allowed to bring her back home but it’s still not sure whether she’ll make it or not. So I have a couple of days full of hopes and worries behind me and another couple ahead of me.
Anyways, I wanted to say thank you again for the numerous reviews and PMs I got and for all the kind wishes for my well-being. I hope this chapter was worth the wait and that you’ll all enjoy reading it.
Again thank you to my beta-reader. She had quite a lot to do with this one because of all the misprints and stupid mistakes. I was just too tired to think about correct spelling and sometimes even about sense. ;)
But enough words. Now enjoy reading!
Penelope frowned as she saw him turn on his heels and run back into the direction he’d come from. It was the third time this week she’d seen him standing in front of her apartment building looking up at her window. He hadn’t rang her bell once. He just always stood there watching her window, sometimes just for a few minutes, sometimes for almost half an hour.
As ridiculous as it might sound she almost felt stalked by him. And honestly, if it hadn’t been Derek Morgan out there watching her window almost every night they weren’t on a case anywhere she’d probably been scared by now. This way she was only confused.
Why did he do that? He wasn’t exactly a shy man – quite the opposite actually. So why didn’t he just ring her damn bell and talk to her if there was something he wanted to say?!
At first she’d thought that the reason for his reluctance had been Kevin. So one evening she’d casually dropped into their conversation that Kevin was out of town visiting his family for three days. And that evening Derek had again stood in front of the building this time for almost an hour.
And when Penelope finally had had enough and decided to confront him, he’d turned around and ran off. It was frustrating! He stood there and watched her. Not only in front of her apartment. She’d also caught him staring at her a few times at the office when he’d thought no one would notice. And his expression had been… well, if Penelope didn’t know better she’d say it had been desirous, his dark eyes wandering over her body in a way that still made her shiver when she thought about it.
Yeah, right. As if Derek Morgan had any reason in the world to be staring at her! She was imagining things. That was it. Some things simply couldn’t be true. Derek would never in a million years stare at her, at least not like that.
Sighing Penelope turned away from the window and her eyes fell upon the figure in her bed.
Okay, say she didn’t see things that weren’t there. Then why now? Why had she spent five years of her life longing for and daydreaming about this one man she was sure she could never have – and now that she’d finally been able to break with these feelings for him and try and start a life on her own he suddenly discovered that he wanted more out of their relationship than friendship?!
“Come on, Penelope, think straight!” she mumbled to herself. Seriously, how likely was it Derek Morgan was secretly in love with her of all people?! Right, probability 0.0000000!
First of all, Derek Morgan wasn’t secretly in love. With anyone. If he was in love with someone at all, he acted on his feelings. And why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t like any woman in the world could ever resist him.
Exactly! Penelope sighed again. And that was why she had fallen for him the moment he first called her ‘baby girl’. Oh, and how she’d wanted to be his baby girl. How had she wanted him to mean those three words the way she had meant them?! How many years had she lived almost celibate because she’d wanted to wait for this one man who never knocked on her door?!
Face it, Penelope! Too many freaking years!
For years he had been the center of her little world, their friendship the line she would never cross. He’d been the swan and she the ugly duckling, just not even anywhere near his league. She had known that she could never have him, but that hadn’t kept her from dreaming – until one day she finally realized how pathetic that had been.
And even if Derek’s feelings for her had changed. Even if there was a tiny chance that he might feel more for her than just friendship. What did it matter? For over a year now she’d been in a relationship – and she wasn’t willing to risk that for the mere possibility that Derek Morgan had suddenly taken notice of her.
Silently she walked into her kitchen and got herself a glass of water. Why did she think about the ifs and buts at all? She had banned every dream she’d ever had about Derek Morgan more than a year ago when she’d finally realized that it was pointless and decided that it was time for her to move on.
She’d found someone and their relationship was lasting. And she was happy. Really?! Kevin was the nicest guy she’d ever dated. He treated her with respect and he didn’t want to hide the fact that they were dating from anyone.
Kevin would never cheat on her and – as bad as it sounded – there wasn’t that much rivalry she had to fear. He was sweet and caring, apart from the fact that sometimes he just didn’t understand her. But that certainly was just the natural misunderstanding between men and women.
Yeah, she had a lasting relationship with a great guy. Everything was perfect, just the way she’d always wanted it to be.
Penelope walked back to her bedroom but stopped in the doorway and watched the man on her bed sleeping.
Well, everything was perfect except for this one tiny snag there was about it. She thought as she carefully crawled back into bed.
Kevin just wasn’t Derek.