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Title: Worries, hesitancy and too much thinking – part 21

Pairing: Morgan/Garcia

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

Summary: That’s what in my humble opinion should have happened after ‘True Night’.

warnings: not really

Richard frowned when he saw Penelope and Kevin leave the elevator. He could sense that something was wrong.

“Um… Penelope?” he called out and quickly stepped in front of them to block their way. “Agent Morgan just called me and asked me to take you home.”

“I will take her home.” Kevin declared and pulled Penelope a little closer.

Richard looked into Penelope’s eyes and he could see fear and concern. She looked down to her right side, back into Richard’s eyes and back down. He nodded slightly and carefully opened his holster so that he was ready to draw his gun if necessary.

“I’m sorry” Richard frowned at Kevin, his hand resting on the gun in his holster, “but I have a strict order and I have to follow it.”

“Penelope is going with me!” Kevin hissed.

“I don’t think so.” Richard mumbled.

And then everything happened as if in slow motion. Kevin pushed her out of the way to point his gun at Richard who drew his own gun at the same time. They both shot and Richard sank to the floor. Penelope screamed and the next second the alarm shrilled through the hall.

Kevin grabbed Penelope and pulled her with him towards the exit. But when he saw the three agents coming in from the street he quickly grabbed some keys from Richard’s pocket and pulled Penelope through the next door into a corridor. He forced her down the stairs into the parking lot where he forced her into the driver’s seat of a black SUV.

“You’re driving!” he ordered still pointing the gun at her.

Nodding she started the engine and drove out of the building.

“You shot him.” she whispered and pulled as far away from him as possible desperately trying to concentrate on the road and stop shaking. She felt dangerously close to a nervous breakdown. “Why did you do that?”

“That wasn’t planned.” Kevin admitted through gritted teeth.

Penelope’s eyes fell upon his left hand that was pressing on his stomach and covered in his blood. “You’re hurt.” she quietly said.

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t planned either.” he groaned obviously in pain.

“Why did you do this?” she asked looking back at the road again. “I mean, you could have used me as a shield. Why did you push me out of the way?”

He looked at her as if she was insane. “Do you think I want you to get hurt?”

“But… if you never planned to hurt me…” she asked quietly. “Why did you point the gun at me and kidnapped me?”

“I just… want to be with you.” he answered.

Penelope winced when he reached out to touch her and kept staring at the road to avoid his gaze.

Kevin frowned and hissed: “This is all his fault. But once he’s out of the picture you will realize that you belong to me! Then you WILL love me.”

“He won’t let you win.” she whispered. “Derek would never give me up, he won’t rest until he has found me. And then I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”

“Don’t worry about me!” Kevin smiled triumphantly. “And don’t rely too much on him. If he’s trying to follow us, he won’t get very far.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “What have you done?” she gasped.

“What I had to do.” he replied. “It’s better this way. That’s why I wanted to take you with me. You see, I’m just trying to protect you. You belong with me!

You should keep your eyes on the road.”

The tires squealed as she brought the car to an emergency stop at the red light.

“What if I don’t?” she whispered after a while. “What if I will never love you because my heart belongs to someone else?”

“I will MAKE you love me!” he shouted and then grimaced in pain.

“How?” she wanted to know. “Will you rape me if I don’t let you touch me?”

“I promise I will make you happy.” he smiled and then gently caressed her cheek and made her look at him again hoping that she could see in his eyes that he was serious, that he wouldn’t hurt her. But when he leaned in to kiss her she cringed.

“Please, don’t!” she begged voicelessly. She knew that she should certainly let him touch her and tell him what he wanted to hear. But he had just told her that he’d planned to kill Derek. And she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

Kevin’s eyes widened. “You’re afraid of me?”

“What did you expect?” Penelope sniffled. “You try to kidnap me, you shoot one of my friends, you threaten the man I love and I can’t be sure what you’re going to do to me.”

She jumped when the car behind her honked and she quickly drove on. Maybe she should just stop the car somewhere and refuse to drive anywhere. What could he do? After all, he was pretty badly hurt.

“I… I would never hurt you.” he promised once more.

“Really?” she whispered. “Do you think that if you hurt my friends it doesn’t hurt me? And if you’re ready to kill Derek or Richard or anyone else who gets in your way, where’s the guarantee that you won’t eventually kill me?”

“I would NEVER hurt you!” Kevin yelled at her causing Penelope to wince. “I love you!”

But this time she didn’t answer. She just cried silently.

“You don’t know what this is like.” his voice was husky and it was obvious that his energy was fading. He groaned and shifted uncomfortably. “Being alone.”

“Is that why you did all of this?” she sniffled. “Because you don’t want to be alone?”

“I never met a woman like you before.” he coughed. “From the moment I first saw you I knew that we belong together.”

“And you really think this is the way to a woman’s heart?” she asked bitterly and pointed at the gun in his hands. She was slowly getting her self-control back and wiped the tears from her face.

Kevin stared at the piece of metal and then sighed. “It wasn’t meant to go this way. I was sure you would blow him off – at least after the text message. But you… you two always talked everything out and reconciled with each other.”

“Have you never considered it possible that maybe I don’t belong with you?” she whispered. “You tried to tear Derek and me apart so many times but yet we’re still together. What if that means that I belong with him?”

Kevin clenched his fist at that: “Just… for once in my life I wanted to get the girl and not be scored off by the hot guy.”

“I understand that.” she assured him quietly. “But killing Derek won’t change anything. And if you did really love me and really didn’t want to hurt me, you wouldn’t kill him. Because if you do you might as well kill me.”

“You really love him.” Kevin stated sadly.

“Yes, I do.” Penelope affirmed. “He treats me like every girl wants to be treated and I am very happy with him. In fact, I’ve never been so happy before.”

“So you don’t regret anything?” he wanted to know.

“Of course, I do.” Penelope whispered. She regretted that she’d been so hesitant and that she’d given him such a hard time. “I regret quite a few things because if I die today or if you kill him there’s… so much that I missed.”

“But you don’t regret that you went out with him instead of me.” he frowned.

Penelope looked into his eyes and shook her head. Then she looked back at the road, took a deep breath and added trying to keep her voice strong and confident: “You see, you should kill me right away because I will never be yours. Even if you get away with this and they don’t find us, I will never be yours. I love Derek. And you can kill him and kidnap me, rape me or even kill me – but you will never change that.”

“You won’t die.” he assured weakly. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Then let me go!” she begged. “And just stop trying to ruin my life.”

“I’m not… willing to give you up.” he gasped. “You belong with me! You should be with me.”

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe she was risking her life. But the only other option she had seemed a lot more terrifying to her. So she pulled the car into the next best parking lot and stopped the engine.

“Look” she tried to sound as determined as possible, “we can just stay here and wait. You’re losing a lot of blood and I bet you already feel cold. I’m not a doctor but I would guess that you have another thirty maybe forty minutes. If you don’t get to the emergency room soon you’re gonna die. So give me that gun and let someone help you!” Penelope held her hand out for him.

“I’d rather… die in this… goddamn car… than be… alone for the rest… of my life.” he said between heavy breaths. He was pale and sweating.

“You won’t be alone.” she objected.

“Don’t… tell me that… there’re many other girls out there.” he panted. “I know… what’s gonna happen. They’ll p… put me into a… mental hospital.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing.” she tried her best to give him an honest smile.

“Don’t… say that again!” he hissed. “I’m not crazy!”

“Okay.” she whispered and instinctively withdrew from him.

Kevin stared at his gun for a moment. Then he looked into her deep brown eyes and he could see the fear in them and written all over her face – fear of him.

“I never wanted you… to be afraid of me.” he whispered.

“I know.” she nodded. “Let me get someone to help you!”

He just shook his head.

“You need surgery.” she insisted.

“Who… cares?” he coughed again and he could taste the blood in his mouth.

“I do.” Penelope whispered.

For a few seconds he just stared at her before he rattled: “No, you don’t.”

“Obviously, you don’t know me half as good as you think you do.” she whispered. “I can wait until you’re unconscious or maybe even dead and then get out of here and call someone. But I’d rather get you some help.”

When he didn’t answer she decided that she could as well dare. So she reached for the handle.

“Wait!” he whispered without opening his eyes anymore. He reached into his pocket and handed her a phone.

She took the phone from him and gave him the most honest smile she could manage. “Thank you.” she whispered before she quickly dialed the familiar number clutching the phone to her ear and silently praying for him to pick up.

“Morgan?” she heard him growl into the phone.

“Derek?” even Kevin could hear the relief in her voice.

“Baby girl!” he called out causing all agents in the hall to stare at him with expectant looks.

“How’s Richard?” she wanted to know. “Kevin shot him and…”

“He’ll be fine.” Derek assured. “He was hurt pretty badly and certainly has to stay in the hospital for a couple of days, maybe even weeks. He was unconscious most of the time but he’ll make it.”

She sighed with relief and closed her eyes for a moment.

 “Where are you?” she heard him ask.

“I… I’m not sure.” she stuttered. “Somewhere along the Russell Road.”

“It’s okay, we’ll find you.” he assured her. “Hang in there a few more minutes, we’re on our way! Are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine.” she replied. “But I fear there’s a bomb in your car.”

“What?!” Derek shouted and ran a hand over his head.

“I’m not sure.” she explained. “I mean, he didn’t explicitly say that but he threatened to kill you and said that if you tried to follow us you wouldn’t get very far.”

“That bloody little…” Derek bit his lip. There was no way he would say that when he was on the phone with his baby girl. “Is he still with you?”

“More or less.” she eyed the man next to her up. He seemed to be unconscious. “Richard shot him. It’s pretty bad, I guess. He lost a lot of blood. I don’t know what to do.”

He hesitated for a moment. As much as he wanted to see that guy dead for what he did, Derek absolutely didn’t want Penelope to have to watch him die. “Is there something you can press on his wound?” he asked already heading for the cars. “Maybe a sweater… or your scarf?”

“Yeah, yeah, the scarf.” she quickly took it off and pressed it on Kevin’s stomach.

Derek held the phone to his chest for a moment and told Hotch quietly: “Penelope thinks there’s a bomb in my car. We’d better not take it.”

Nodding Hotch headed for his car instead.

“He’s unconscious.” Derek heard Penelope say. “At least he’s not reacting.”

“Is he still breathing?” he wanted to know.

“Yeah, but it’s pretty shallow already.” she informed him. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“Just keep pressure on his wound. We’ll be right there.” Derek assured her once more. Fortunately, he was able to keep his promise. Only ten minutes later they saw the car in the parking lot, the flower Penelope had worn in her hair that day stuck on the aerial. “Clever girl.” Derek mumbled a little proudly as he jumped out of Hotch’s car.

Penelope got out of the car and sighed with relief when she saw Derek pretty much running up to her.

He hurried forward and quickly caught her in his arms. Only when he felt her relax in his arms he felt the tension slowly leaving his body as well.

As much as she wanted to help Kevin when she saw the car arrive and Derek get out she just had to make sure that it was over and that they’d made it through the whole ordeal unscathed.

“Where is he?” Hotch wanted to know.

“In there.” she replied pointing her head towards the open door of the passenger’s side. “He lost a lot of blood. He needs surgery.”

Nodding Hotch checked on the already unconscious man, took his gun and waved the medics nearer.

“Baby girl, are you okay?” Derek asked in concern still refusing to let go of her.

“I am now.” she whispered, closed her eyes and leaned her head back against his chest wrapping her arms tightly around him.

“If he hurt you…” he mumbled.

“He didn’t.” Penelope quickly assured him before he could threaten to kill Kevin. “He just scared me.”

“If he touched you or anything…” he started again.

“No.” she assured him once more and took a deep breath. “He didn’t do me any harm.”

“I’d call an attempt to kidnap you doing you harm.” Derek objected. “And you don’t need to be so compassionate for him. You have every right to be angry at him or even hate him after everything he did to you… to us.”

“I don’t hate him.” she sighed. “I’m angry at him, yes. And I feel sorry for him. I think that he really likes me, he has just a weird way of showing it. He’s kinda obsessed with the idea of us being together. I guess he needs help.”

“He’ll get help.” Hotch replied. “As soon as he’s served his sentence for shooting a federal agent.”

“He saved my life.” Penelope told him. “When he and Richard drew their guns Kevin pushed me out of the way.”

“But still he shot a federal agent.” Derek reminded her and gently kissed the top of her head. “Come on, baby girl, let me take you home!”