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Realization

Title: Realization

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Morgan/Garcia

Prompt for [info]24_runes: #6 Kenaz  (loss of illusion and false hope)

Word count: 2063

Rating: T just to be sure

Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.

Summary: Part 6/? of the ‘Loser Lynch’ series. Realization usually hits when it’s too late.

warnings: spoilers for season 3

“Where are my car keys?” Penelope wanted to know. “I’m going to be late for work.” She was glad that today she was at least able to go to work at all.

“You don’t need to go to work.” Kevin smiled at her.

She turned to frown at him: “What do you mean?”

“I called in sick for you.” he explained with a smirk. “That means we have the whole day for ourselves.”

“Kevin, I’m fine… why did you… Where are the keys for Esther?” she was starting to get seriously angry with him.

But he refused to answer.

“Fine.” Penelope grumbled and headed for the door. She could as well take the bus or a cab. When she reached for the knob she found the front door of their apartment locked. Sighing she fished her keys out of her purse and tried them… They didn’t fit.

Slowly she turned around just to find Kevin directly behind her. “Why is the door locked?” she whispered.

“You don’t need to go anywhere.” he just shrugged, the smirk Penelope had liked so much until now still on his face.

“Why don’t my keys fit anymore?” she wanted to know.

“I changed the lock.” he replied with a nonchalant shrug.

“Why?” she gasped. This couldn’t be true, it simply couldn’t be happening.

“Because I knew that otherwise you wouldn’t stay here with me.” he smiled and put an arm around her shoulders to lead her back into their apartment. “As I said those people have too much influence on you and you need a break from work and from them.”

“But I can’t just…” she stopped in the middle of the sentence when she saw the fury on his face. He looked like he was ready to hit her if she didn’t agree with him.

“I said you need some time off.” he hissed.

“Okay.” Penelope quickly agreed and let him lead her towards the bedroom. Derek had been here just yesterday and he had called the day before. He surely wouldn’t stop checking on her.

But what was she going to do if he came over again?! He would see that he’d been right about Kevin and that she never got a nice guy.

“You know, I’m really feeling a little tired.” she gave Kevin the most honest smile she could manage. “You’re certainly right, I should get some rest.”

“Do so.” he nodded, a wide grin on his face. “I’ll take care of you.”

“I know you will.” she whispered and swallowed as he leaned forward to kiss her. For a second she managed to pretend that everything was still fine, just like it had been the day before. That Kevin loved her, just wanted to take care of her and that she was on cloud nine.

But when he pulled back and she looked at him the realization hit her again. Derek had been right, once again. How could she ever have thought that someone truly loved her and that there wasn’t a snag about it?!

“I’ll check on you later.” he promised.

Penelope just nodded and disappeared in the bedroom where she broke down on the bed and cried for what seemed like the rest of the day.

It must be a bad dream that she was locked up in their apartment by the man she loved and she’d thought loved her too. Maybe she should try and call for help. But when she tried to open the window she noticed that he’d changed the catch and it was locked as well. So she laid back down on the bed, curled up into a ball again and tried to sleep.

Kevin left her alone for the rest of the day. He came in to check on her a couple of times but she pretended to be asleep. He woke her up for dinner and started to kiss her afterwards. She’d always liked being touched by him but suddenly it made her feel sick.

She told him to stop and the next second she disappeared in the bathroom where she had to throw up. She didn’t even need to pretend to be sick. She really was.

“Are you okay?” he asked through the door.

“Yeah” she replied from where she was sitting next to the toilet, “I’m fine. Just… sick. Gimme a minute.”

Fortunately that was enough to make him leave her alone for the rest of the night.

The next day she realized that Kevin had taken away her laptop and her cell phone so there was no way she could call anyone or at least send an email. When she asked him about it he just said that she needed ‘a pause from all the technology’.

The days past and no one came to check on her. She started wondering what Kevin might have told them. Had he told them she was severely ill? Or that she didn’t want to see any of them? Wasn’t she supposed to see a doctor if she was ill for a longer period of time?

After about three days Penelope decided that it was time to take matters into her own hand.

When Kevin went out to do some shopping she used one of her hairpins to try and unlock the door. Unfortunately, that turned out to be much harder than it looked when they did it in the movies so she decided to try something else.

She searched the drawers for some tools. She could dismantle a computer and put it together afterwards. It must be possible for her to dismantle the lock.

It was. She’d just managed to open the door and was pretty much running down the corridor when Kevin returned. He stepped out of the elevators and suddenly blocked her way.

She swallowed hard at the stern expression on his face.

He didn’t say anything. Instead he raised his hand and hit her.

Holding her aching cheek she stared at him in shock.

Kevin grabbed her hand, forced her back into the apartment, then into the bedroom and threw her on the bed. “You’ll stay here!” he snarled as he locked the door behind him. He left her alone, certainly to fix the lock in their front door.

This wasn’t happening, it simply couldn’t be. Kevin wasn’t the kind of guy who hit his girlfriend. He wouldn’t do all this to her. He loved her!

At least that was what she’d been thinking until now. She just wished that Derek would come to her rescue. Or maybe it was better if he didn’t so she didn’t have to go through the embarrassment of proving him right again.

Why was all this happening to her? First Battle and now Kevin. Why wasn’t she allowed to meet a nice guy who could love her, not some psycho who either wanted to kill her or lock her away from the rest of the world? Maybe being happy just wasn’t meant for her.

When Kevin returned he was beside himself with anger. He grabbed her upper arms and shook her forcefully. “Why did you do this?” he shouted at her.

“I’m sorry.” Penelope whispered and ducked instinctively afraid that he would hit her again.

“You wanted to leave me!” he yelled and raised his fist.

When he let go of her she fell back down on the bed and immediately curled up in a ball to hide from the hits she expected.

But he didn’t hit her. In contrast, his face suddenly softened when he noticed that she was sobbing. Catching her in his arms and gently swaying her back and forth Kevin softly said: “I’m sorry, Penelope, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She just nodded not sure what he wanted her to say and afraid she might say something wrong. She didn’t even dare to try and fight him. If only she’d listened to Derek instead of deceiving herself!

It was probably true that Kevin had poisoned her to make her ill and maybe he’d even caused the miscarriage. But why? Why would he do that? Well, he constantly begged her to stop working basically because he was insanely jealous of Derek. And he’d not been happy when she’d told him about the baby.

Smiling Kevin pulled back a little, caressed her cheek and leaned in to peck her lips. Then he went to the kitchen to bring her some ice for the black eye that was slowly forming on her face.

She couldn’t manage to say anything. But she managed to give him a weak smile.

“You know, I love to take care of you.” Kevin said and gently stroked her hair.

Penelope shivered in response to his touch – but for the first time it wasn’t out of excitement but out of fear and disgust.

Kevin didn’t seem to notice that or he didn’t pay attention. He kept smiling at her and whispered: “We’ll always be together. No one will get between us, I’ll make sure of that. You’re safe here, I’ll keep you safe.”

She nodded. The only problem was that he was the one from whom she needed to be saved. He’d hit her once. That meant it was only a matter of time before he’d hit her again. Penelope had seen that happen way too often. But she’d never thought it would happen to her.

“You know that I can take good care of you, right?” he asked.

“Yes.” she managed to respond.

“Good.” he grinned happily. “Because from now on I’ll never gonna leave you alone again.”

Penelope smiled and swallowed hard. She had a feeling that this wasn’t an idle threat.

For the rest of the day he was the sweet and caring man she’d fallen in love with and if he hadn’t locked her up in the bedroom she’d maybe even been able to pretend that everything was normal, just as perfect as it used to be.

But of course, that wouldn’t have changed anything. She’d just been deceiving herself again. She should stop thinking that any normal man in this world would ever be truly interested in her. She only got the psychopaths – if she got anyone at all.

She wasn’t sure what was more humiliating, the fact that her boyfriend had turned out to be a psychopath who had locked her up in their apartment and now started to hit her and that there was no way she could have gotten out of here.

Or the fact that she’d been so wrong about him. After all, she’d trusted him, fallen in love with him, even moved with him. She’d been the one who’d given him the opportunity to do all this to her in the first place.

She needed to get out of there! She definitely deserved something better than that! And she’d rather die old and lonely than be locked up in that bedroom for the rest of her life.

If only she could at least send a message to anyone. Or if only Derek came by to check on her again – or anyone else for that matter. She could just cry for help then. But as long as there was no one there to hear her that would only make Kevin more angry.

And when Kevin came to bed with her that evening she had to realize that things could only get worse. He leaned over to kiss her and at first she didn’t refuse. But when he started to unbutton the blouse she was wearing she pushed him away.

“What?” Kevin asked angrily. “Don’t you want me anymore?”

“Yes, I do.” she quickly objected. “It’s just… I… I’m not feeling well. I have a headache and… and my stomach… it still hurts.”

“Don’t lie to me.” he yelled at her and grabbed her wrists to keep her from fighting him. “You should be better by now, I know that!”

“I’m not feeling better.” she whimpered. In fact, she was feeling worse than ever before.

“You never spurned me before and you won’t start now!” he hissed as he ripped her blouse open. “I’m not the loser you can treat like that.”

“Don’t! Please, don’t!” Penelope begged and tried to fight him. She screamed – even though she was sure that no one would hear her anyway – tried to punch him and kick him. But unfortunately, Kevin was much stronger than she was.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
jalabert
Aug. 3rd, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew this was coming, but it's even uglier than I imagined. In her place, Iw ould have started throwing things out of the window as soon as he left the house the first time. Sooner or later, someone would have reacted. (Then again, merely throttling the bastard also sounds like a good idea.)
little_profiler
Aug. 3rd, 2008 09:44 am (UTC)
I gotta admit I didn't come up with the idea to throw things out of the window - that's probably why Garcia didn't either. And about the throttling... well, he will survive the next chapter. I'm not going to tell you more. ;)
paksenarrion2
Aug. 3rd, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
Argh.

I really want to take Kevin, strip him nekkid, slather him with honey and stake him to a fire ant hill in the middle of the desert. At high noon. In August.

Fix this quickly please *begs*

I am loving this story, despite the angst.
little_profiler
Aug. 3rd, 2008 09:49 am (UTC)
That sounds like an idea Derek could come up with for Lynch.
I'm glad you liked the story so far and hope you'll still like it even though there will be more angst.
guiltyreasons
Aug. 3rd, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
I hate you!!! I really do! How could you do this to me? To Garcia? The insanity of it all. But I love it. Insane Kevin is interesting and hopefully it'll be better soon. T.T

Thanks for the little M/G fix to get me through the day!
little_profiler
Aug. 3rd, 2008 09:50 am (UTC)
Well, let me just say that there won't be much Kevin in the next chapters. :)
sophies_remedy
Aug. 3rd, 2008 05:37 am (UTC)
NO!!! So not cool!

Ok, granted, I knew he was going to go psycho. I didn't know HOW psycho, but you lead into really well with this chapter. But dang dude. I kept waiting for Morgan to show up and kick his ass. That is in the next chapter right? Or maybe JJ taking care of him like she did Battle? But there's got to be a major ass-kicking soon. There just has to be. Someone needs to come save her.
little_profiler
Aug. 3rd, 2008 09:52 am (UTC)
Let me just say that you won't have to wait for Morgan to show up and kick Lynch's ass very long in the next chapter. :) He's always there to save her, isn't he?
sophies_remedy
Aug. 3rd, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that's true. Ok. I feel better now. *g*
mrsericdelko
May. 9th, 2009 06:06 am (UTC)
Oh HELL NO he didn't. Derek soo needs to kill him. I like the fire ants someone above mentioned. He is freakin' pyscho poor Garcia!
little_profiler
May. 9th, 2009 01:59 pm (UTC)
Well, I thought I'd leave it open to debate if he did or not... Maybe I'm gonna resolve it in one of the future chapters. Don't know yet.

And I think I'm not gonna give too much away if I say that Derek won't kill him and there won't be any fire ants involved... Sorry. :)
mrsericdelko
May. 9th, 2009 06:00 pm (UTC)
Damnit....I really liked the fire ants thing. I LOVE the icon!!!!!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )