Title: One thing I need to know
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Movie quote: #6 "If you were not a bride I would kiss you goodbye." - "If I were not a bride, there would be no goodbyes to be said." Ben Hur
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to CBS. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time.
Summary: Sequel to ‘A night at the movies’. Penelope wants to know what a kiss Derek gave her meant before she makes a decision that would change her life forever.
“Kevin proposed.” she suddenly burst out when the movie was over. “He said he had talked to Rossi and they were both sure we would get permission.”
Derek’s eyes widened as he turned towards her. “Wow…” he finally mumbled. “What… did you say?”
“Nothing.” she replied. “Not yet. There… There are some things I have to think about before I can give him an answer.”
“For instance?” Derek raised an eyebrow at her.
Penelope shrugged and took a deep breath. “I didn’t know he was so serious about this… us, I mean. And… well, to be honest, I’m not sure I am so serious about us.”
“Oh?” was all Derek could say in return.
“I know.” Penelope smiled wryly. “That’s not like me. And I should be grateful that I found someone but… I don’t know. I just never thought about marrying him. I like him, really, he’s nice. But as a matter of fact, there’re people I liked much more than him.”
“People?” he couldn’t help but smile at her choice of words.
“Okay, men.” she sighed, one man in particular. “It’s just… Maybe I should marry him. I’m thirty and I don’t have the time to wait for Mr. Right forever.”
“Hey, I’m older than you are and I’m still looking for Mrs. Right.” Derek teased.
“No, you’re not.” she giggled. “Plus, it’s a lot easier for you to find someone. Anyway, what about this girl who didn’t like old movies? What was her name?”
“I don’t remember.” he shrugged and grinned at her.
Penelope grinned back: “I didn’t expect that anyway. So what about her?”
“She didn’t like old movies.” he replied nonchalantly.
She giggled again and shook her head.
“So… you’re not sure what you feel for Kevin or about marrying him?” Derek brought their conversation back to the original topic.
“Yeah… something like that.” she mumbled.
“No one else can make this decision for you.” he softly said.
“I know.” Penelope took another deep breath and looked at him. “And in fact, there’s only one thing I really need to know to make my decision.”
Derek just nodded.
“That kiss.” she finally said and turned her head back to the screen of his TV. “Did it mean… anything to you?”
“No.” he took a deep breath. He was about to say things he definitely shouldn’t say. But if he didn’t do it now he wouldn’t get a second chance, that much was for sure.
That little word was like a knife stabbing her heart. Yet she smiled and quickly said: “Well, then I have my answer. Thanks… um… I mean, I should go now.”
“Wait a minute!” Derek grabbed her hand to keep her from jumping up. “Baby girl, let me finish this sentence!”
Why did he have to make this worse than it already was?! But she nodded desperately trying to hold back the tears that wanted to spring to her eyes. Why had he kissed her at all? If it didn’t mean anything to him? If he hadn’t done that she would surely just have said yes to Kevin’s propose and would now be planning her wedding.
He took both her hands in his and gently stroked them with his thumbs. When she finally looked into his eyes again he smiled: “That kiss didn’t mean anything to
Penelope looked down to hide the tears she couldn’t hold back anymore. Why did he have to repeat it? Did he really want to hurt her like this?
“You misunderstood that sentence, goddess.” he squeezed her hands. “Look at me!”
She looked up and sniffled a little.
Derek reached out and gently brushed a tear out of her face. “I never wanted to see you crying especially not because of me. But to be honest I’m relieved you are.”
The expression on her face was a mixture of confusion and anger.
“Because it means that this kiss meant something to you.” he explained. “And it meant the world to me.”
Her heart skipped a couple of beats before it started pounding like mad. She had expected pretty much anything but not that.
“I just wasn’t sure how you felt about it.” he continued. “I didn’t want to ravish you like that but… I just had to kiss you, I wanted to kiss you. Not that this want was in any way new to me. But I knew that if I repressed that want again I would probably never do it.”
“What about… the frat rules?” she whispered.
Smiling mischievously Derek leaned in so close that she could feel his breath and smell him. God, he smelled so good, masculine, strong… just like Derek. “Do you really think I care about them?” he breathed before his lips met hers.