little_profiler (little_profiler) wrote,

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The choice

Title: The choice

Pairing: John/Teyla

Rating: K

Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to FOX. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time. No copyright infringement intended. The idea for the story and the story itself - including all possible pre- and sequels - are mine.

Summary: My version of the second part of The Kindred. Exclusively John's POV.

Teyla has to make a difficult choice.

warnings: spoilers season 4, hurt/comfort

AN: This is my first John/Teyla fic ever! I just thought I should mention that.

Everyone had told him it was a bad plan with McKay leading the way – as usual. John had known that they were right and Ronon had probably as well. But he couldn’t let her down like that – not her. Besides, Teyla would have done the same for any of them.

So they had tracked down Michael’s ship and Ronon, John as well as a small group of militaries had beamed on the ship to save Teyla and eliminate Michael. John had sent two of the militaries out to find Teyla with strict orders to immediately send her back to the Daedalus as soon as they’d found her.

It hadn’t taken them very long to find Michael. The Athosians were with him – Kanan included – and they seemed rather brainwashed to John. He wasn’t sure what it was but something made them act like Michael’s marionettes. They protected Michael by any means necessary and even tried to talk John and his team into giving up and joining their fight.

Soon three of the Athosians had managed to separate John from the rest of his team. He wasn’t sure how they were doing, he wasn’t even sure about the two soldiers he’d sent out to find Teyla. There simply was no time to contact them. All of the Athosians were just as skilled soldiers as Teyla was. How devastating must it have been for her to find out her whole people as well as the man she loved now worked with the enemy?

But John wasn’t that much inferior to the Athosians. He fought them as well as he could until only John and Kanan were left.

“You’d better give up.” the man said in a matter-of-fact tone. “No one has ever defeated me before.”

“Well” John shrugged and wiped away the blood from his lip, “once is always the first time.”

“I’m sure you won’t just shoot me since I’m not armed.” he stated. “Teyla told me a lot about you and your people. She was impressed by your compassion.”

“Then we will fight hand-to-hand.” John said tossing his weapon away. John wasn’t sure he could win this fight. Not because he thought he couldn’t defeat Kanan but because he knew once the Athosian would get the better of John he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. However, John wasn’t sure he could do the same. After all, this was the man Teyla loved, the father of her baby.

It didn’t take John long to find out he’d been right about Kanan. He fought dirty and as soon as he got near enough he grabbed John’s gun and aimed it at him.

John swore silently. This was it. His last hour had come.

Suddenly he heard a familiar sound behind him, the click of a gun being activated. Great, more people trying to kill you!

“Drop the gun, Kanan!” he heard the all too familiar voice and the next second the beautiful and no longer pregnant Athosian stepped to his right.

John was shocked when he saw the missing belly. It had taken them a while to find Teyla and he knew she was past her due date. What happened to the baby? Did Michael kill him? Or abduct him? And why the hell was Teyla here in the first place? The militaries had had clear orders to take her back to the Daedalus immediately.

“You won’t kill me.” Kanan said with absolute confidence.

“I will if you don’t give me any other choice.” she said, her voice shaking.

“Don’t you understand, Teyla?” Kanan asked without taking his eyes off of John. “We are fighting for a higher goal. The final extinction of the Wraith.”

“But at what price?” Teyla asked. “To replace them by an even more dangerous race.”

“We are not dangerous.” Kanan replied. “We are the future. We have all of the Wraiths’s strengthens without any of their weaknesses. You and our son can join us. We can spend the rest of our lives together.”

“That sounds good.” Teyla whispered. “But I’d rather not become a part of Michael’s army. The way you chose is wrong.”

“You just don’t understand the issue here.” Kanan said. “We will be the dominant race in the universe. No one can stop us.”

“This is not the right way, Kanan.” she objected.

“I know why you’re thinking that.” Kanan nodded to emphasize his words. “It’s because of him. He blurred your sight. He made you believe that our way is wrong. But as soon as he’s dead you will understand.”

John swallowed when Kanan activated the gun. If Teyla had to choose between Kanan and him he would lose. He’d lost the last time.

Teyla looked at John and a single tear ran down her cheek.

He just smiled in return. John had never seen her cry before not even at Carson’s funeral. This tear spoke volumes to him and he hoped his smile did to her. He wouldn’t blame her no matter what her choice would be. He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t shoot the man she loved. How could he?!

“You won’t kill me.” Kanan repeated even more certain than a few minutes ago. “You can’t. You love me, I fathered your child.”

“You are not the man I used to know” she replied, “the man I used to love.”

“Come with me, Teyla.” he insisted. “You, me and our son. We will be together. Wasn’t that what you wanted?”

“Not this way.” she whispered. “I don’t want our family to be a part of Michael’s army trying to eliminate every other race in the universe. And I can’t let you kill one of my friends.”

“This is just about him.” Kanan insisted pointing at John. “Don’t you realize that? He’s keeping us apart. He always was. But once he’s dead…”

John drew in a breath when Kanan pulled the trigger. He heard the shot but didn’t feel any pain and for a second he wondered if that was normal. Maybe it was the adrenaline that was certainly flooding his body that kept him from feeling anything. He should ask Dr. Keller – but he was sure he wouldn’t get a chance to do so.

But then he saw Kanan’s shirt covered with blood, a weird and shocked expression on his face as he slowly slid to the ground. And then he heard Teyla sob. Quickly hurrying over to her John caught her in his arms to break her collapse.

“I… had no other choice.” she sobbed. “I… I had no choice.”

“I know.” was all John replied. Of course, she had another choice. She could have chosen Kanan over him. But she had chosen him.

It didn’t take Teyla long to regain her self control and she pulled away from John. He wasn’t surprised. She was incredibly strong and she barely ever let anyone comfort her – and she surely wouldn’t let him do so now. He was the reason she had killed Kanan.

“He’s gone.” Ronon grumbled as he turned around the corner. “Oh.” was all he said when he laid eyes upon Kanan.

“He took Kanan with him.” Teyla said in a low voice.

“Excuse me?” Ronon raised an eyebrow.

“My son.” she replied and looked at Kanan’s body. “Our son. I considered it a good idea to name him after his father.”

John and Ronon just nodded.

“He activated the self destruction.” Ronon explained. “We should go.”

John didn’t really realize how they were beamed back on board the Daedalus and checked by Dr. Keller. Nor did he really hear all the reports from the militaries of what had happened aboard Michael’s ship. His thoughts were too occupied with what Teyla had done – for him. He needed to see her, check on her, even though he was sure she didn’t want to see him at all. But John had to make sure she would be okay.

“Oh, Colonel.” she greeted with a weak smile.

John winced a little at the thought of his rank immediately bringing the distance back between them. “I just…I’m very sorry, Teyla.”

“I know.” she said and stepped aside to let him in. “I’m… grateful that you came to save me and that you are here to check on me now.”

John sighed a little. She would never stop holding up her self-control no matter how hard times were. In a way she was a lot like Ronon. But at least he had chosen some people he let in from time to time.

“You know, I can… go if you… want me to.” John muttered feeling a little uncomfortable.

Much to his surprise Teyla shook her head no as she sat down on the bed. “I… don’t think it’ll do me any good to be alone now.” she admitted. “I already feel alone enough.”

John just nodded as he watched her stroking her belly. She had lost everything and he hadn’t been able to impede that. “We will find him.” he finally said.

This time it was her who answered with a nod.

“I won’t rest until we do.” John added.

A small smile crossed her face and she whispered: “I know you won’t.”

She looked so lost that the sight of her ripped at John’s heart. He desperately wished he could do something – anything – to soothe her pain.

“Could you just… stay for a while?” she asked after a long silence. “I would… like to talk.”

“Of course.” John nodded and took the seat next to her. He didn’t feel too comfortable sitting with her on the bed. In a way he felt he was the cause of her ordeal.

After another moment of silence Teyla began to talk – and it seemed after her first words she wasn’t able to stop anymore. At first her voice was low and sad but the longer she talked the stronger her voice became and John noticed a few small smiles cross her face.

She talked about Kanan at first. How they met, how they got to know each other and in the end came to love each other. She talked about all the things about him that could drive her crazy and everything she liked a lot about him.

Teyla ended up talking about her people in general, her childhood on Athos and how she became one of the youngest leaders her people had ever had. How everyone had doubted she would make it, herself included, and how she’d had to surpass herself when the Wraith attacked them repeatedly.

John just sat next to her and listened. He didn’t notice when she leaned closer or that he had put an arm around her shoulder. But suddenly when Teyla’s voice died out he noticed that her head was resting on his chest and he kept stroking her hair in a constant rhythm. For a moment he considered stopping this movement. But it seemed to soothe her and that had been all he’d wanted; soothing her. So he continued.

“John?” Teyla asked after a while.

“Yeah?” he asked back in a low voice. She sounded exhausted but her voice was strong as usual.

“Tell me something about earth!” she requested.

“Well…” he thought about that unexpected plea for a moment. “To be honest, I don’t know much about any other country except America where I was born. But there’s a bunch of sights to visit there. The Niagara Falls for example. They’re the biggest waterfalls in the world. And the Grand Canyon, I’ve been there with my ex-wife once. It’s really impressive and they recently built this glass bridge where you can walk over the Canyon and look down.

Well, and then there’s the Empire State Building. For a long time it had been the highest building in the world and it is an absolute must if you visit America. And the Statue of Liberty of course. It was given to America by a French king and you can go up there and have a wonderful view over Manhattan.”

When he ran out of ideas of what sights there were worth visiting in America he started to tell stories about his life before Atlantis – leaving out the not so happy parts, the death of his mother, his fall-out with his father and his divorce. Instead he talked about all the places he had visited with his family or during his honeymoon.

John kept stroking her hair while he was speaking. And unfortunately he found himself enjoying the feeling of her snuggled up against him much more than he certainly should at the moment. She smelled good, her hair freshly washed, some sort of vanilla shampoo and something that was just Teyla.

He knew it was wrong to feel this way but holding her in his arms simply made him feel better. It made him believe everything was going to be okay. They would find Kanan junior and defeat Michael’s army.

“You know what?” John smiled “Once we find Kanan I’ll take the two of you to earth and show you the sights.”

“All of them?” Teyla answered sleepily.

Smiling slightly John wrapped his arms tighter around her and gently kissed her forehead without even thinking about it. “Yeah, all of them.” he assured.

“That sounds good.” she whispered already half-asleep.

John stroked her hair until he felt her relax in his arms. It didn’t take very long until he finally went to sleep hoping that they would find Kanan soon. As ridiculous as it might sound, John wanted to see and hold their newest inhabitant and welcome him to Atlantis and to his life.

Tags: john/teyla, jt_one_shots

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