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Yearning

Title: Yearning
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing: Becker/Jess
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Neither the show nor the characters belong to me, they belong to ITV1. Nonetheless, I love to borrow them from time to time. The idea of the story as well as the story itself – including all possible pre- or sequels published afterwards – are mine.
Summary: This was a dream, it had to be. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not here, not to her, not like this. Yet, here she was, trapped in the Early Jurassic, surrounded by dinosaurs considering her as nothing but food.
Warnings: once again not beta-read

AN: Sorry this took me forever – once again. I just couldn’t seem to get the last part right. You know the times when you’re singing the blues and your muse just doesn’t like it and disappears? I feel like that’s what recently happening to me. But I won’t stop coaxing her to come back.
Now I hope you enjoy this chapter.


Becker went on being a complete angel for the next days. He was carrying her around all day long and treated her like she was the only person in the world that mattered to him. And the best thing about all this was that after Becker’s little fight with her father, there was no discussion anymore about where Becker spent the nights. He was spending them with her.

The only snag about all this was that she couldn’t have Becker all to herself. Even though she had started physiotherapy two days ago and was allowed to use her foot again, her parents still wanted to stay to help her.

Also, Becker kept carrying her around most of the time. She had given up on telling him or her parents that she was fine. As a matter of fact, she could get used to Becker treating her like that.

What she couldn’t get used to was the fact that their relationship seemed to be stagnating. Of course, Becker spent the nights with her, cuddling as close as humanly possible, but that was about it. Not that she minded cuddling with him, but they’d been together for almost two weeks now and she felt that it was time for…well, more.

Every night Becker brought her to bed and then stripped down to his boxers right in front of her before crawling under the blanket himself and catching her in his arms. Every night her heartbeat went sky-high when she watched him undress. And snuggling up close to him while he was almost naked didn’t help in calming her heart down.

Every night nothing happened except for some kissing and cuddling. In fact, Becker only kissed her when her parents weren’t around. She couldn’t help but wonder if they were the reason there wasn’t anything more going on between them or if it was the fact that she’d been injured.

Or maybe he regretted what had happened between them. But he certainly wouldn’t treat her like that if he did.

So, most of the nights she was lying next to Becker wondering if she should just ask him about it. Or maybe she should just…show him she wanted him.

So one night, Jess slightly turned her head to place a chaste kiss onto his chest.

He didn’t react.

Taking a deep breath, Jess repeated her attempt to take their relationship to the next step.

“Jess, what do you think you’re doing?” his deep voice interrupted the silence.

She raised her head to look up at him. “I just… We’ve been together for quite some time now and I thought that…” she stuttered.

Cupping her cheek with one hand, Becker told her in all seriousness, “As much as I’d love to let you continue, I really don’t think we should do that with your parents next door.”

She blushed slightly. “Well…I thought, we…we could be quiet.”

“True,” he said with a smirk. “But when we do this I absolutely don’t want you to be quiet.”

“Oh,” she mumbled, blushing an even deeper shade of red.

Now grinning mischievously, Becker leaned closer to whisper into her ear, “Your dad already hates me enough. There’s no way I’m gonna let him hear you scream my name over and over again.”

“Boaster,” she mumbled, causing him to chuckle. “You know, I love my parents,” she stated with a sigh as she placed her head back on his chest. “But right now I really wish they were somewhere else.”

“I promise this will happen as soon as your parents grant us some hours to ourselves,” he whispered, letting his hand run up and down her spine. “And I’m very much looking forward to it.”

“Okay,” she mumbled, taking a deep breath. She felt disappointed but at the same time relieved. At least she’d found out that the reason for his demureness were her parents and not the fact he didn’t want her anymore.

It still didn’t help her find much sleep, though. Becker’s comment had only fuelled her yearning to get some time alone with him, and he certainly knew that. He wanted to spend some hours with her. The thought of that made her feel aroused and a bit apprehensive due to her massive lack of experience. But she wanted to fill that gap.

Of course, she knew that Becker was right. Heaven forbid her parents would hear them! Okay, her mom would certainly ignore it, but her dad would kill them. Not to mention the fact that it would be the most embarrassing situation she could think of.

As if her parents constantly nagging her about their relationship wasn’t embarrassing enough already… Especially her father obviously couldn’t stop bringing up the matter and asking compromising questions.

The next day wasn’t any different – and suddenly Jess was glad Becker had talked her out of spending their first night together with her parents next door.

The conversation started harmlessly, as usual. But Jess knew what was about to come.

“So, you’re still having nightmares?” her father asked while her mother was preparing breakfast.

“Yeah,” Jess affirmed. “I know that it’s stupid, but sometimes I still feel like I’m back…there.”

“Wherever that was,” he grumbled.

“I can’t tell you,” she repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. “But trust me, it’s not a place you’d want to see. It’s dangerous and…”

“Then what were you doing there anyway?” he pressed her.

“It was…an accident,” she told him. “I…I can’t tell you more, I’m sorry.”

“But you feel better when…Captain Becker is around,” he changed the topic.

Jess sighed. Why did her father always have to bring up that matter when Becker was in the shower and therefore not around? “He saved my life,” she replied. More than once.

“That’s why you love him?” Henry asked with a grumble.

“No, that’s why I feel safe with him,” Jess objected a bit angrily. “There’re many reasons why I love him. You’d understand if you knew him.”

“I’m just saying,” Henry insisted, defensively raising his hands. “What do you even know about him?”

“I know enough about him to be sure that he would never hurt me,” Jess told him impatiently. “I know that he risked his life and his job just to save me. And he would do it again if necessary.”

“Do you even know his first name?” Henry insisted.

“Yes, I do,” she replied. “And before you ask, no, I’ve never met his family and I certainly never will. But that’s fine with me, because I can accept if he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“Maybe he’s married,” he said with a shrug.

Jess snorted. “Yeah, dad, he surely is.”

“Well, how do you know that if he never talks about his family?” Henry pointed out.

Sighing once more, Jess replied, “He’s been working for our agency for almost five years now. Don’t you think someone would have noticed something if he was a marriage impostor?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all,” he mumbled, his voice somewhere between angry and disappointed.

“I know that,” Jess said, taking a deep breath to calm down.

“He’s a soldier,” Henry went on. “You should be aware of that.”

Eying him suspiciously, Jess assured him, “I am aware of that.”

“Well, what I want to say is that… They’re not exactly the family kind of guys, you know, they’re more…”

“What?” Jess harshly interrupted him. “Dad, I’m grown up and I’m not naïve. I know that there are bad guys out there, but I also know that Becker isn’t one of them.”

“Are you really sure?” he asked, frowning at her. “A guy who doesn’t even talk about his own family… How do you know he can think of starting a family with you? I mean, what if he gets you pregnant?”

“Dad!”

“Then I’m going to ask her to marry me,” Becker’s deep voice said as he entered the kitchen.

For a moment, it was dead silent in the room. Jess wondered how much of the conversation Becker had actually heard.

Henry just stared at Becker who held his gaze.

“I’m not playing with Jess,” the latter said after a while. “There might be a few things I don’t like to talk about, but that doesn’t mean I have a lot of dark secrets. The reason I don’t talk about my family is that they’re dead. So, technically, I don’t have a family to talk about.”

This was followed by silence again.

Taking a deep breath, Becker continued, “My mother died of cancer when I was six. She’s been sick ever since I was born, so I don’t have any siblings. My father was a soldier, just like myself, and he was a family guy. He took good care of me, despite the fact that he had to leave the country every once in a while. Six years ago he died in an ambush in Afghanistan.”

Jess looked down on the verge of tears. Why couldn’t her dad for once in her life simply accept her decision and let it go? He would scare Becker away sooner or later, she knew that.

Elisabeth was the first to break the silence. She stepped towards Becker to hug him and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Becker stiffened slightly, but returned the embrace nonetheless. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

“It’s Elisabeth,” she scolded him.

He nodded briefly, and then said, “My first name is Hilary. I honestly don’t know how my parents came up with that name, I never asked them. And except for them no one ever used that name so if you don’t mind, I would prefer to be called Becker.”

“Sure,” Elisabeth replied. “But I might use your first name every time you call me Ma’am.”

Becker just smirked at that.

Jess sighed with relief. At least her mother really liked him – and Becker did his best to leave a good impression on her parents. She couldn’t help but love him even more for that.

“Sir, I’m not trying to take your daughter away from you,” Becker finally said, turning back to Henry. “But I’m not backing off, either. I have no intention to hurt Jess. I love her, and I will fight for her if necessary, even if that means I have to fight with you.”

Jess almost couldn’t repress a squeal. He wanted to fight for her. So, there really didn't seem to be a way her dad would scare him away.

As if to prove his words, Becker sat down next to Jess on the table and greeted her with a soft kiss, making her heart leap with joy.

He was kissing her in front of her parents now.

Henry snorted and sat down opposite the table. “You know, no one ever called me “Sir”. I never served. When I was old enough, conscription was already abolished.”

Elisabeth smiled when she sat down at the table herself. “That’s his way of telling you to call him Henry,” she told Becker.

Henry snorted once more.

Becker smirked slightly and reached for the pancakes. For the first time in his life he had really opened up to someone – and for the first time in his life he didn’t feel like a complete stranger.

Moreover, for the first time in ages Jess’s parents were neither nagging him about his family or his past nor making any comments about their relationship. It was a normal breakfast, some small talk, some laughter – and no more of the subtle tension that had always been between them.

“So, what did the physiotherapist say?” Elisabeth wanted to know when they sat down in Jess’s living room.

Jess shrugged. “My foot is healing properly,” she replied. “I’m allowed to try and use it again, but I still have to take things slow because after the time it took the wound to heal, the muscles have flagged. But it’s just a matter of days until I’m cleared to go back to work.”

“You should take it easy,” Becker immediately objected. Receiving a death glare from Jess, he mumbled, “I’m just saying.”

Elisabeth smiled warmly. “It’s good to hear you’re getting better, but I think Becker is right. You shouldn’t overdo it.”

Jess rolled her eyes. Her parents had stopped hating Becker only minutes ago and it already felt like they were ganging up against her.

“Look, I promise I won’t do anything more than my physiotherapist sais I can do,” she told her mother with a sigh. “But once I’m cleared to go back to work, there’s nothing that can keep me from doing so.”


“I understand that,” Elisabeth assured her.

Becker knew that it was better to remain silent. Jess understood why everyone was worried about her – and he understood that she couldn’t stand it any longer.

“But you need proof that I’m fine,” Jess mumbled. “Okay, how about I do the shopping? We’re out of milk.” When she realized her mother was about to object, she quickly added, “Becker can accompany me and make sure I don’t…overdo it.”

Not to mention that she might get the chance to drag him into the next best hotel for some making-out.

Becker considered objecting, but reconsidered it when he realized that Jess was just trying to buy them some alone-time.

“You know, I’ve got a better idea,” Elisabeth replied with a smile. “Why don’t you two stay here and your father and I go do the shopping.”

Jess opened her mouth, but closed it again, not sure what to say to that.

“The physiotherapy must have been exhausting enough for today,” Elisabeth told her, already getting up. “Your father and I are going to do the shopping, you’ll stay here and rest. Period.”

Jess watched in awe how her mother pretty much dragged her father out of the apartment and closed the door behind them. Was it just her or had her mother just made it possible for her to spend some time alone with Becker?!

Did her mother know that was what Jess had been yearning for? Did she know how Jess intended to spend the time her parents were away? Oh, well, who cared?

Grinning mischievously, Jess turned towards Becker, climbing on his lap and claiming his lips with hers.

“What…are…you…?” he stuttered, taken aback by the sudden attack.

“My parents will be gone for at least an hour,” she whispered, her hands sliding under his shirt. “And I so know how I want to spend the time.”